Here's the AI roast of Tristan Sébillet's LinkedIn profile...

Ah, Tristan Sébillet, the Senior .NET Developer who’s freelancing like he’s trying to avoid a serious relationship with a job. You’ve got skills in PostgreSQL and STRIPE—great, because what every project needs is more payment processing and databases! Your summary reads like a motivational quote gone wrong: ‘I can help you succeed!’ Sure, if by ‘succeed’ you mean putting together a half-baked web app that crashes during the demo. I see you've worked with clients who sound impressive until you realize they’re probably just as confused about what you actually did for them. And don’t get me started on your motto of ‘discussing how I can contribute’—that’s code for ‘I’ll promise the world but deliver a PowerPoint slide.’ Keep rocking that freelance life, buddy; after all, someone has to wear the crown of being the king of vague promises!